There are the potential issues that I see
- Privacy- FB's privacy issues are well known and I have nothing to add about them.
- Communication issues (primarily as a replacement for email)
- FB Bullying
- Attention fragmentation
- Virtual friendships vs. real ones
I want to own my emails- to be able to reply to them in the editor that I choose. For a long time I've been disappointed that FB forces me to use their system but not enough to do anything about it. In the time I have been away from FB my feeling towards my communication has felt "cleaner". It's an odd feeling to have in relation to technology but I think it's apt. It feels better to have one process for replying to people and to have everything in one place.
It seems to me that FB would like as much as possible to replace my regular emailing with their own system. They haven't made it inconvenient because they aren't good with technology but because they want me using their website. I respect their desire to earn a profit but it does make me feel bullied.
FB Bullying
When I attempted to deactivate my account FB showed me 6 (?) large profile pictures of my friends and below each it said that they would miss me- "David Charles will miss you" and "Stanley Salazar will miss you" etc. The approach worked well and did what it was supposed to do: it made me feel like I was abandoning my friends.
The problem is that it's not true and that all of my friends have my email. I'm not cutting my friends out. What I am doing is losing the communication that they don't direct specifically toward me. I don't believe that anybody will stop messaging me because I am not on FB but I will stop recieving many messages that people broadcast to the world.
Broadcast messages
There are the main types of FB posts
- Ordinary snark and cool links- what I post and like to read
- Reaction to world events
- Events in people's lives
It may not be rational to think that remembering a public post is weird but I think that even if isn't weird it is unnatural. It interrupts the normal flow of conversation. Now instead of either The Bourne Ultimatum being discussed or not discussed it's in this half-discussed state until we get to it.
Virtual friendships vs. real ones
I think the main appeal for me about Facebook was the idea of reconnecting with old friends in a non-virtual manner. A few weeks ago I decided to think about how well that has worked out and realized that I had only met in real life one person who I had lost touch with that I had found again on Facebook.
(My results may be reflections of my own circumstances and are certainly affected by the fact that many of my old friends live far away.)
Attention Fragmentation
I've already discussed how knowing events from people's live can fragment a real life conversation. To some degree I think it also fragments my general concentration. When I write I try to isolate myself from other people's thoughts.
A final thought
Last week I went to a book reading where I knew one of the authors. His short story was good and we talked for a few minutes after. The conversation stalled a bit and he asked me if I was on a Facebook. I told him no and it felt right. He was an interesting guy and I will by happy to talk to him whenever I run into him. If we end up having a real life friendship that could be cool too but in no way did I feel that I wanted a FB friendship with him. I don't want to know what he's reading or if he's had a bad day. It's not that I'm not interested in that information- it's that I don't want to get it through FB.
2 comments:
Nice post Seth.
I will offer some counter points and a slightly different perspective. Please don't think I am some kind of Facebook fanboy. I am not.
First off facebook as a corporation has some major issues with their lack of respect for the privacy of their users. With that said I do realize that they offer a "free service" and that they have to make money off your info. I just think they could do it in a more respecting and less creepy way.
Second I agree there is a high signal to noise ratio on FB for me. But it is relatively quick to sort through.
Virtual friendships vs real one.
For me facebook has led to real life meetings with old friends that would not have happened had it not been for facebook. So that is a plus. In fact it almost led to me meeting you when you came to Columbia and your band played here over the holidays. Because I have four kids and my life is scheduled around them it didn't quite work out... but I really wanted to come see you and g33f. FYI I would not have even known about g33f had it not been for facebook and our virtual friendship. I am pretty sure on my next trip to NYC(I seem to end up there about every 5-7 years) I will definetely try and look you up and have lunch or something. If you are on facebook that is easy to setup. Email.. not as easy b/c I am not constantly made aware of you.
While I will agree that virtual friendships are not near as rich as real ones I still find them satisfying.. again especially for my demographic(married w/ kids) we don't have a lot of extra time to make friendships with folks who are not in that demographic and local... but that doesn't mean I don't enjoy leanring about what you have been up to, what you think about, and what things you like(so I can try them) and dislike. I would rathere hear them from you as opposed to some random blogger b/c I trust you more than some random blogger b/c we had a real friendship in the past. So for me there is a lot of value in that. I enjoy knowing what you think is cool and humorous.
Politics...and current events.. got into these dicussions for awhile... I realized that they were fruitless early on .. but engaged in them so I could practice articulating my thoughts on them... have gotten kind of tired of them now.
Also like I allueded to earlier I enjoy finding about what people are up to(not the little stuff.. but the big stuff).. You know like, I graduated from xyz... and I had a kid...I voted for X..I am a fan of this team and they rock... so that is okay with me...
Attetion fragmentation..I agree this happens but I don't ever feel weird about it.. I don't ever ask myself "should I mention this"... I do find myself trying to steer the conversation to something they said on FB while they are telling me about something else.
Anyway I will miss you on FB.. I will try and follow your blog but it will be hard. FB is an awesome aggregator of a lot of stuff!
Thanks for making this post..
S.
Scott,
Thanks for the in-depth post.
What you said makes me want to clarify some ideas.
I should have said "online" instead of "virtual". "Virtual" is disparaging in a way I didn't intend.
I wonder if it is _mixed_ online and offline friendships that I find odd.
I think that their are traits that I have that may make FB less suitable for me. A huge part of my life right now is writing and for that I need some mental quiet. I tend to ruminate on any new idea. If I read about ducks then I think a lot about ducks the next day. So I think that reading 30 or 40 bits of new information about people I know may distract me in a way that doesn't happen for other people.
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